Blog Entry
Monday, June 19, 2006
S.O.S please someone help me
it's not healthy for me to feel this way
why oh you are making this hard
you got me tossing and turning,
i cant sleep at night.
this time please someone come and rescue me
okay.
today started off bad.
i thought lani was joking when she said orals start at 730 la.
haha.
i woke up late.
luckily mama woke up to send me to school.
haah.
orals were fine.
she's the man was GREAT.
they are hell hotttttttttt.
haha.
i dont want to hurt him anymore,
i dont want to be a murderer.
i dont understand how she,how they,
can bear to be players.
shit.shit.shit.
i cant possibly fall in again.
gosh,gosh,gosh.
i feel so bad.
this is the one and only reason why i HATE school.
i dont know,and have lost everything i could blame already.
it just gets too tiring,
i dont know la
yesterday and teh day before were such happy days.
i swear i wasnt affected,
somehow,today,hearing,feeling and seeing,changed everthing.
blame it on me.
blame my stupidity then.
i'm not so wise,and not so clever.
i envy them.
cause i dont have that chance.
5 months left,
i hope a miricle happens.
but i'd be happy with just running away these few months.
gosh.
i hate reading blogs now.
forgive me if i've every hurt you,
but i think i wasnt enough.
or maybe i WAS.
i dont know.
i'm sorry if i gave you wrong impressions in the morning.
i just wasnt prepared.
i'm loving angels instead.
An empty room can be so deafening,
The silence makes you wanna scream,
It drives you crazy
.I chased away the shadows of your name,
And burned the picture in a frame,
But it couldn't save me
.And how could we quit something we never even tried,
Well you still can't tell me why.
We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what you're looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore....
I can't hate you anymore.
You're not the person that you used to be
,The one I want who wanted me,
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry.
Before it drains the light right from your eyes,
And I can't go on that way.
And so I'm letting go of everything we were,
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
if you every come here,
maybe you'll understand,
and you'll come to terms
on why and how i could hate you so much within a few days.
but i doubt you ever will,
cause we're running out of time.
i had a sad sad dream last few nights.
i just hope that youre all right.
stupid cupid,stop picking me me.
sometimes,
i just wish that i can be alone,
with none to bother me.
but after you were gone,
and there really was none to bother me,
i learnt that your silence was far more deafening then your screams,remarks and your horrible comments.
just to let you know.
cause i remember having a conversation like this once.
diana loves you.
is that enough?!
8:54 PM